angelito / kenny

disclaimer

Added this because I was accused that I was pretending I didn’t do the things I did, so here it is.🦴 I used to produce problematic content. After moving to a safer environment, my relationship with my trauma has changed, so I don’t need this to cope anymore. Despite that, my stance on fiction remains the same.🦴 As a victim who was anti-proship and a pro-shipper at different points, I believe that fiction doesn’t affect reality on a 1:1 basis. In line with this, it is not my business to police what others do with fiction regardless of what I find acceptable or not.🦴 I have another account separate from this one due to it’s sexual content. I do not want minors in that space I’ve made for myself 👍 just saying in case it gets recognized. FYI, no problematic content is being made there.🦴 If you’re uncomfortable knowing all of this about me, please just block me. Don’t mute, don’t unfollow. I want you to full on hard block me, please. I don’t want to second guess interacting.

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Additionally* I was apologized to already but I want to make it known that you should not give any details about a person’s experiences or reasons behind coping mechanisms without consent. Criticism is a need, however personal details are unnecessary for a call out.Not only did that thread put me in real life danger, but now complete strangers know something so personal about me and I had no control over it. My safety wasn’t thought about until I had contacted someone involved, and that troubles me on how you people view the agency of victims as something that can be taken away once they don’t fit your idea of one.Overall. The goalpost on what’s okay in fiction is different for everyone, it should be treated as with every other opinion you agree or disagree with. Either ignore it, respect it, or block and move on. Harassing someone into accepting your views or gatekeeping an entire interest from them isn’t going to work nor is it humane. You are not a child, you have the intelligence to navigate situations with nuance.

Addition made as of Sep 1 / Aug 31 depending on time zone.
> Putting this here cause I’m alarmed. I received proof that the people who made the thread harassed a mutual who doesn’t even make problematic content seemingly just because they interacted with me. This occurred within 24 hours of this old follower finding my account again and commenting on one of my recent posts. They spammed messages to this person’s ask box stating that they’re faking being a system among other harmful things. I am beyond disappointed, I genuinely thought better of these people. This was not only ableist but also extremely unnecessary to their initial cause. For those wanting to be informed who these people are, I will uphold the affected’s privacy and only provide the evidence and details in private.

The thread isn’t up anymore, but I wanted to say my piece 🐶Original Response
> To give context as to what happened in the past, people harassed another under the impression that they were me. I was not aware of this at the time it was happening and when I found out I tried to dispute it, though I admit it made them look all the more suspicious given my timing. Prior to this, I have already denied being any other suspected individual when I was asked about who I was. Truthfully, I was not active on main anymore during my time in these spaces until I decided to make the dailyctommy account for reasons you are likely already aware of if you read the thread.> I do not engage with problematic material anymore as I have actively worked towards other means of emotional regulation. All evidence that stated otherwise did not include that I was talking about these pairings with negative connotations, and that throughout the blog I can be seen asking that nothing sexual be sent to my inbox.> In my last conversation with the affected person prior to my return, I offered to out myself in case they were still being harassed for being thought to be me, so I don’t understand why the wording of the thread suggested that I orchestrated or intentionally caused harassment. Additionally, I also offered to deactivate my original account to respect other’s DNI boundaries and was advised against it by the affected person because of concerns regarding my isolation. Admittedly at the time I reasoned back that I would do it anyways because I did not think my situation would improve in such a way that I wouldn’t be able to find other means of coping. When I found myself doing exactly that, I had in mind our last conversation hence why I believed it would be fine to come back. I understand now that regardless of that past conversation, me returning is not something these people support. They are justly uncomfortable with my presence, however I do not feel that this is enough reason for me to permanently cease from engaging with an interest that helped me through a dark time in my life and continues to inspire me as I work towards a better one.> Me blocking the individuals involved was a choice I made for the sake of my well being and was not done with intention to hide from them. I blocked whoever showed up on my timeline, as being reminded of these people triggered my anxiety responses. I pointedly did not block their private accounts (of which I am aware of because we used to be mutuals) as I believed this would be a good enough opening for communication. I understand that I could have taken initiative myself to let the those individuals know that I would be returning to completely assure that there would be no misunderstandings. I apologized on this front already.> The people involved with the thread were able to communicate their anger in my already stated to be inactive ccat (the dates of the asks sent predescend the thread) so I’m not sure why contacting me in the tumblr they were also aware of, or through the burner they’ve shown that they have the resources to make, weren’t options for them to directly communicate and handle this privately. Once again, I have already thought about and sympathized with the possibility that contacting me was not a priority given that as far as they were all concerned I caused extreme distress to their friend, and that I looked suspicious and untrustworthy to them. However, I believe that I am allowed to express my confusion in this regard.> Me reposting old content was my way of being honest about who I was. I understand how this could have looked like a cheap grab for attention to them, but I promise you that I am not here to “capitalize off of the resurgence.” I don’t have the means necessary to produce any fan merch, and I have never done anything of the like even on my original art account either. Additionally, none of my posts from the start has had any tags, so I’m not sure where this conclusion came from either. I just like sharing the things I make about my interests. Even then, these people are aware I’m being abused. I don’t know why the idea of me trying to earn money is unacceptable. Naturally, I would want to leave and be independent as soon as I can.> Overall, I had no issues with the rest of the thread as I understood where they were all coming from, however posting my private admission of something extremely personal and sensitive was violating and unnecessary to the call out. I forced myself to open up about the abuse I was facing because I felt they deserved an explanation, posting this for the sake of a call out thread not only harmed me but also put me in danger. The thread was taken down because I expressed that it could be found by my abusers. Said abusers are aware of what my previous usernames are, and that a thread broadcasting who I am and what I’m going through would definitely get me in trouble with them.> I’m talking about this now because I feel that it’s unfair that no follow up post was made to correct themselves on the assumptions they broadcasted. I am putting this in my carrd because I don’t want this to be so out in the open due to safety concerns.Addition made as of 9/8/24
> To be clear, I didn’t stop because I think it’s bad. I stopped because I needed a different coping mechanism after I physically couldn’t get myself to do my old one because of the memory now attached to it. ie, when I forced myself to talk about my experience and it reopened many wounds and I couldn’t eat or even draw for months.> Until now I’m still not sure if I’m in the right to be angry, but I just am. I trusted them with that information and they threw away all regard for me just to uphold some self assigned duty to be community heralds. Not even an apology for doing this or putting me in danger. I understand these people were stressed and weren’t thinking clearly but I can’t help but feel horrible because of this violation of trust and privacy. Continuously I’m told to just expose these people and that I deserve to kill someone but amidst my anger I still don’t feel any hatred. It’s really only hurt and confusion that I’m trying to process and move on from now.> I implore all of you to reevaluate your actions when dealing with people you disagree with when it comes to the topic of problematic fiction because there’s a vast amount of us that are also traumatized. If you disregard that fact, you are selective with what victims you support. You are disregarding our being human. You do not know them personally, you don’t know why they chose to do this to cope instead of something else. To insist they follow your standard of what is acceptable is extremist and inconsiderate to them as well.> I agree that there are valid concerns with problematic material being posted online after my experience as a minor in these spaces space, mainly with regard to the adults I’ve interacted with when I was there, however I do not approve of the cancelation or fear mongering culture involved when dealing with it. With the fiction affecting reality debacle aside, threatening people, especially minors, will only push them to find other less safe ways to do what they want. This will isolate them to spaces where they will be more prone to being victimized. And that’s without covering the unnecessary mental distress it causes them. Once again, I encourage you just leave it at blocking and moving on, or at the very least, fucking communicate in private.

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